Woods Canyon Lake

The boys and I decided to go camping this weekend and go somewhere we could fish also.  We headed up to Woods Canyon Lake which is about 30 miles east of Payson, AZ.  We had a great time.  We had some company from Ben and Caleb.  All the kids went to bed at 9:30pm inside the tent by themselves.  The next morning we did some fishing and did not catch anything but we had a fun time.  

Great Teaching Moment

Today there was a moment that I have been hoping and praying to have with the boys for some time now.  I really feel grateful that the Lord put this experience in my life at a time when I probably needed the message of it more than the boys.  So the story goes that the little green spider toy that is in Tyler's hand was something that he won tonight at Chuck E Cheese and while we were at the park I see him walking up a hill head low and crying saying he lost his new spider toy.  To be honest my first thought was to just to say, "I am sorry Tyler" and just move on and not even to try and look for it.  That sounds pretty harsh, but I immediately thought that if it is important to Tyler then it is important to the Lord.  Ethan, Tyler, and myself had no idea where the the toy was but I suggested to them both that maybe we should say a prayer asking for help to find it.  Tyler offered the sweetest prayer asking for help to find his new toy.  All three of us went out on the hunt and Ethan found it about 3 minutes after our prayer.  We again said a prayer thanking Heavenly Father that he helped us and that our prayer was answered.

This may not seem like a big deal to some people.  It is huge for me.  I am not accustomed to putting myself in places where I have opened up to having miracles happen daily in my life.  This experience was probably one of the top 3 experiences of 2010.  Come to think of it I don't even know what the other two could be for the year?  I don't think it coincidence that these teaching moments are put into my life.  I hope the boys learned something because I for sure did.

BALLERS IN THE MAKING

The boys and I went to Chuck E Cheese tonight.  It has become our Wednesday evening ritual.  We are actually down grading from where we once went each Wednesday evening.  We used to go to Barros Pizza.  Anyways I am sure the boys enjoy Chuck E Cheese more.  I was excited when both boys decided to play the basketball shooting game and they both did really good.  They don't like to show it to most people but they are very good athletes.  I tried taking some action shots with the ball leaving their hands but the camera was not snapping them very quickly. 

I was listening to a song the other day and it said something to the affect of "people making your heart beat again." That phrase of the song caused me to think of things that still make my heart beat quicker,things that still can bring a smile to me face, or things that move me and bring joy to my life. This is not a comprehensive list but these are some things that I have noticed lately.

• A good cheese ball accompanied by a box of Wheat Thins
• Sugarland Songs (country music in general)
• Having a great conversation and laughing with someone that I still deeply care about
• Seeing Ethan and Tyler support each other and encourage one another
• Receiving an unexpected phone call or visit from someone when I am having a difficult time and feeling low emotionally and feeling like nobody remembers me and them telling me they have been thinking of me and love me.
• Hearing Tyler learning to count
• Listening to Ethan's stories
• Nathan's Hot Dogs (if you hate hot dogs you won't after eating these puppies)
• Tyler asking to cuddle with me
• Getting a hug 
• Good and supportive friends

I guess this is a good list for now but I honestly feel like Harrison Ford in "Regarding Henry" after he gets shot and has to learn how to do everything for himself all over again.  I am learning to feel and love again.  I am learning to be human again and part of something larger than myself.  I am learning how to forgive.  I am learning to accept myself for me.  I am learning to find joy in each day no matter how small because some days that one thing might be what needs to sustain me that day.  I am learning to see things from others point of view.  I am learning to do the best that I can and know that is enough and acceptable.  I am far from where I want to be but I am trying and will always try no matter what.  I have faith that has to count for something.  Some days I wonder how in the hell I even made in through the day still standing and intact but then I look back and see throughout the day where the grace of God intervened on my behalf.  I thank God each day for the chance to be blessed with two wonderful children.  I ask and plead to understand forgiveness and how the Atonement can work in my life.  I know in my head that it can but getting it from my head to the heart is not always easy, but there is only ONE person who can make that possible. There is only ONE person who can heal me. 

Training for the Masters

We braved the 112 degree heat and went miniature golfing on Saturday and had a great time.  The boys did so well and were such good sports about being in the heat.  Tyler’s poor face looked like a tomato.  He for sure inherited my knack for sweating because his face and hair was dripping with sweat.  Ethan on the other hand must have some “Diablo” in his veins because it really did not seem to phase him.  It was a great round of 18 holes.  The company was terrific and I hope to have many more rounds in the years to come.  

 I must be the luckiest dad in the world.  They are a marvel to me.